It Ends With Us.

“This is how the enemy winds us up in his web of lies and deceit. He alters the way the cycle unfolds because maybe the next generation learned a thing or two from their family’s mistakes.“

Lately, I have been pondering the generational occurrences in my family, you know? Like, what happened in my family line way, way, way down the line that I don’t know about, but see repercussions of?  I’m finding myself in many conversations where people have also or are also considering this. Do we need to repent for our family’s sin against God from the past? Can I destroy the curses placed on my family line that came about because of their disobedience to God? Did my family members in the past pray to false gods? Did they dabble in idolatry, witchcraft, divination, or sorceries? Could this be why certain things have happened in my life or in my immediate family’s lives? I just had so many questions. Then, I read a fictional book that was titled, “It Ends With Us.”. In this book, the main character witnessed her mother experience physical, mental and emotional abuse. She swore that she would never be with a man like that. Then, she married a man like that.  In her mind, it was different, though. He was “loving”, and he blamed his actions on his past, not her. He was “not like her father”, yet when he got angry, he’d lash out and hit her. She wanted to leave the first time he did it, but it was so different from her father. It was different from what her eyes were accustomed to. Her husband loved her. She could feel his remorse after he hurt her. He apologized profusely. Her father didn’t love her mother, and he certainly didn’t apologize. Then, it became a cycle. (Side Note: This is how the enemy winds us up in his web of lies and deceit. He alters the way the cycle unfolds because maybe the next generation learned a thing or two from their family’s mistakes.).  At the most unexpected time, she made the decision to end the generational curse of women accepting physical, mental and emotional abuse, specifically from men. She saw a pattern in her family that she didn’t want her daughter to experience. It’s a good fictional read, but it hit me hard. I was surprised when I started crying because I understood that cycles have to break, but what I had to truly understand was that it indeed ends with us!

So, what does this look like as a child of God; A servant of God who is trying their best to walk in His ways but notices repetitive strongholds? I’m reminded of the commandments in Exodus 20: 1-17 (KJV). The particular scripture that stands out is verses 5 and 6, “⁵ Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; ⁶ And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.” We of course know that we are not to serve any other gods, and that includes false gods, people and even ourselves. He’s a jealous God.  What happens when a husband’s wife puts another man before him? He becomes hurt, angry and seeks vengeance. Vice versa: I was in a relationship where I became jealous when my ex put women before me.  I only bring that up because the Lord allows us to see the earthly things in order to understand the spiritual things. Therefore, because Jesus is our spiritual husband (whether you’re married physically or not), He gets jealous when He sees us worshipping someone or something else other than Him. We are to worship Him alone! Luke 4:8 KJV says, “⁸ And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.”

Now that we understand this, back to the topic at hand. When we or our families walk contrary to God and serve ourselves and/or other gods, we don’t realize that we introduce bonds of wickedness and iniquity in life. Not just in our lives, but in our children’s lives too. I don’t have children yet, but I’m considering many things before I do. I won’t go too deep, but when we walk in iniquity and sin, we invite wicked spirits to continue to thrive in our lives, in the lives of people around us, and in our family’s lives (current family and family to come). The Lord is also so merciful. He gives us 3-4 generations to repent and get it together before consequences start manifesting. Refer back to Exodus 20: 5-6.

Have you ever wondered why a family seems to always fight or argue? It could be over the smallest things. What about families who have cycles of division, divorce, anger, murder, rape, pride, lies, jealousy, laziness, and I could go on and on. Patterns and characteristics can be found all throughout the family when we intentionally ask the Lord to show us. Things that have been cycling generation after generation. The question is, are we really ready to unpack? Because you may find some dark things in the family’s “vault”. If yes, the next question is, are we willing to do the work to clean it up!? It’s not easy because those bonds of wickedness don’t want to break, and those wicked spirits don’t want to leave us. Our flesh certainly doesn’t want to change and be free. SO, it’s not easy work, but it is necessary for our salvation and our children’s salvation. Who talks about this kind of stuff!?!? It can get real deep y’all!

I always write with the intention to tell my story, not to teach, so take everything I share to the Lord for yourself. This is my truth. I indeed prayed to the Lord about it, and I focused on the strongholds I noticed about myself. To name a few characteristics, I found laziness, lust, rebellion, pride, idolatry, infirmities, anxieties, etcetera. I have examples of all these characteristics, but today let’s focus on pride. Whew! Pride is a heavy one. We all have experienced it one way or another because it can manifest in different ways. This was also the first thing the Lord revealed to me when I asked Him to show me, me.

Where am I going with this? Pride is a characteristic that is so greatly masked that we don’t always pick up the fact that we’re operating in it.  I thought pride only meant belittling someone else to make myself look good, being condescending, walking with my head high and chest puffed up. This isn’t my natural character, so I didn’t consider myself prideful. However, the Lord showed me that it was prideful to not ask for help when I needed it. It was prideful for ME to think I could change someone with GOD’S Word. It was prideful to not accept correction. It was prideful to lean on my own understanding and follow my own steps. It was prideful to sin against God and try and justify it. Child I could go on for days because I didn’t even consider those things to be prideful. I just didn’t want to burden anyone, so I didn’t ask, but the Lord said ask, seek, and knock. You know what I’m talking about. (Matthew 7:7 KJV) Aren’t we supposed to change someone with the Word of God? No, the Lord provides the increase. (I Corinthians 3: 7 NKJV) We are vessels He uses to plant the seeds (the Sower) and water the seeds (the waterpot). When we receive correction according to the Word of God, we are called wise. (Proverbs 15:5 NKJV). We are to be guided by the Lord’s direction and not our own. (Proverbs 3:5-7 KJV). Only Jesus can justify us, not we ourselves. (Psalm 32:1-2 KJV). This was a pattern that I noticed in myself. How did this happen? It was definitely because of my own disobedience, but I started noticing patterns in my family too. I definitely won’t be expounding on who does what. This isn’t that type of blog, but pride was running rampant. It was seen in the tongue and in the actions including my own. How did I begin to overcome it? I said begin to overcome it because I have to keep going until the end. The Lord says, he that endures to the end, the same shall be saved. I battle casting down pride ALLLLLL DANG ON DAY! This is real. Sometimes, I fail and have to repent, and other times I do better.

This isn’t to deter anyone from the work. We are all striving to be better children of God. This is to encourage that it can be done. Yes, it takes work. Yes, you have to distance or remove yourself from certain people, places, and things. Yes, you have to be dedicated and intentional. Yes, we’ll drop the ball or miss something, but God is merciful to get us back on track. Because of our societal norms today, pride is glorified when actually it’s the first of seven things that the Lord hates (Proverbs 6: 16-17 KJV). It is also one of the hardest traits to recognize because it’s subtle. Hmmm, I wonder who proudly wears that characteristic. (Genesis 3: 1 KJV)

Aside from removing or distancing myself from people, places, and things, I can share some of the other practical changes I made. I started journaling. I encourage you to find what works well for you. I started with writing in a notebook. Then, I moved to typing, and now, I voice record. It’s just easier for me to get thoughts out that way. I can go back and review where I was at a time and see the increase the Lord has provided. I increased my prayer life. Talk to God about the little things as much as you talk to Him about the big things. You will find yourself talking to Him most of the day. He wants all of us, not just part of us! Be honest with yourself. If we can’t be truthful to ourselves, how can we be delivered by the God of truth. He knows anyway. You can’t hide anything from Him. Remember patience as well. Get in that Word daily! I strongly recommend fasting. The purpose of fasting is laid out in (Isaiah 58 KJV). Verse 6 says, “⁶ Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?” Read the entire chapter for yourself. Fasting with intention to break the curses, burdens, and chains heal in ways we can’t even imagine. It also heals places we didn’t know were hurting. The Lord will reveal it and draw it out. Trust Him and be patient. It takes time to get through all of the things! As the Lord says, “…Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.” (Zechariah 4:6 KJV).

I pray this has been edifying to you and glorifying to the Lord. I also pray that it has motivated you to take some questions to the Lord concerning patterns, curses, and characteristics in the family. Now, let me just say, you can absolutely do the same for the positive characteristics, blessings and patterns too! This isn’t a negative blog but shining some Light in the darkness that we all are working to get out of. It is possible in this life to live blessed and free! Take the first step, and then be intentional. It’s not going to change until it ends with us!  In Jesus name, Amen!

I love you all,

Michelle 💖💖💖