Who here has felt like you’ve been rejected before? 🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️. Yes, me too. Who here is like, it wasn’t a feeling, I have definitely been rejected? 🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️ Yes, me too. It’s usually not a good feeling when it happens, right? In some less common cases, it can be a relief. But let’s talk generally about the sting of rejection. It can lead to some negative thoughts, words, and/or actions because it doesn’t feel good, BUT, what if I told you that rejection is just an illusion, and it could give place for the enemy to send you down an alternate path that could in turn draw you away from the Lord? I say could because what the enemy does is not permanent. The Lord told us as long as we’re living there’s hope. Hope to find Him again and hope to get back on track. What if I told you, YOU actually have the power to reject the enemy, and he knows it, so he influences us to think we are rejected? He influences us to believe we’re not good enough, when he’s not good enough! It’s all an illusion, sis! I’m happy to share an example from my life to support this revelation from the Lord. A lesson in how I turned what could’ve been perceived as rejection into the strength to stay on the path God laid out for me.
We all know from previous posts now that I walked away from bedside nursing in 2021, so I won’t hold you with all the details. (see, Exhorting Faith Through Testimony). Since then, I have been growing as a Christian entrepreneur, and in 2022 I moved back home to Chicago. Well, I had the pleasure to work with the sweetest, most serious baby I had ever met, lol. Her mom hired me to sit at the bedside in the NICU with her Monday through Friday so that she could have human touch and interactions. The healthcare team could only do so much. I fell in love with her because I was able to watch her go through some of the toughest experiences as a baby, I watched her persevere. (Side note: babies are some of the most powerful people, you hear me! They don’t complain, they push through). I stayed on that same schedule for eight months before an opportunity came up. I’m going to give you a timeline so that you know the amount of time it took for me to get to the opportunity.
In June 2023, I reconnected with an old work colleague via Facebook messenger, who had become a midwife. I knew that she was a midwife with an all-black midwifery group. I actually had two doula clients who were her patients. I reached out to know if their group referred independent doulas to their patients. In short, I wanted to catch up and share my business information with her. She was eager for us to meet and catch up! I was excited too, but I was also thinking that this could mean growth for my business, right? At the time, the baby girl in the NICU was my only client. (My next birth that year, wasn’t until October). Some time went past, and we hadn’t chosen a date to come together. Schedules get busy quickly, right? I knew she was busy. She was also in school to further her education, so I surely didn’t take that time lapse personally. I followed up with her at the beginning of August 2023. She responded towards the end of August. Okay, great! She told me how her schedule was hectic. She also shared that she’s not on FB often, so she missed the message. She gave me her phone number so we could correspond there. Awesome! I’m like okay, it wasn’t the right timing then. Let’s see what we come up with. Fast forward, we ended up having an early dinner in the second week of September 2023. I believed this was God ordained. From the prayer over our food, to the conversation about God, to talking about her work, to what God is doing for the both of us, to talking about my work, man, it was AH-maaazing! I had no idea that the dinner would go this way. I was happy to just catch up and share my business info with her.
When I tell y’all the next part of the conversation, I did not expect. Yes, I knew that she worked with an all-black midwifery team, but I didn’t fully know the purpose of the group. She told me that it started as a pilot program through a major hospital research department. They are still researching the impact on black moms who receive care from black midwives, nurses, social workers and doulas in the hopes to shine the light on disparities in the health care systems. I was thoroughly impressed! Then she said, they had an RN Navigator position that had recently opened up and were looking to hire in the next month or more. She was friends with the woman who heads the program and told her that I was interested. She sent over the application the same day! I was elated. I just knew this was from the Lord because I’m thinking, I’ll be connected with midwives, nurses, social workers and other doulas. This would be a great resource for my clients. What are the odds that we reconnect at a time like this?! If we would have connected in June, the position would not have been open yet. Our conversation would have gone differently. I believed this position was mine. However, I learned soon enough that things aren’t always what they seem.
I filled out the application the next morning on September 11th. She told me to tell her when I did so they could pull my application. Someone reached out to me on October 2nd. I interviewed with them on October 10th which was actually my 12-year RN anniversary date! I’m just like, look at God! Now, during that time, I was still working with baby girl in the NICU, and her team started talking about discharging her home for the first time since she was born! Again, look at God! We know the Lord is all about timing, and this couldn’t have lined up any more perfectly. I prayed and went through the interview process. Y’all!!!! I still shake my head at the thought of this. How did the interview go??? I BOMBED IT!!! Man, that was the worst interview I have ever been through, and I’ve been working since I was 16 years old! THE WORST! It wasn’t them; it was me. I couldn’t get my answers and my words together for the straightforward questions they were asking me, LOL. I am so happy I can laugh about it now because when I got off the Zoom with them, I felt like crap. I was like man what was wrong with me. My answers were as if I didn’t have any RN experience. At that point, I had been a nurse for 12 years! Going into the interview, I had confidence that the Lord brought me here, but if I had any ounce of pride, I was immediately humbled.
“Sometimes, as we go through a thing, we often forget that the enemy and our own thoughts love to work together to take us down.”
I prayed and gave it to the Lord like this; I said, well Lord I prayed that you’d be with me during the interview and that if this was my job, I’d have it. Of course, the enemy was probably rubbing his hands together and plotting on me because shortly after I gave it to the Lord, the negative thoughts flooded my mind. You’re not good enough for this position. You don’t have the necessary experience. You couldn’t even answer the questions right. They don’t believe you’re a nurse with the responses you gave. Ha! Man, I was getting hit every which way. Sometimes, as we go through a thing, we often forget that the enemy and our own thoughts love to work together to take us down. It took me a minute to catch on to what was happening. I just kept trying to dismiss the thoughts as they were coming in.
I recall soon after the interview, I started seeing and hearing messages through videos, billboards, cars, social media, conversations, etc. (He can use anything to teach us, remember?). I felt they were from the Lord. The messages would highlight, “not giving up”, “keep going forward”, “staying the course”, “making sure the direction you’re going is where the Lord wants you to go”, and so on. I’m now putting two and two together, and it had me thinking, was I even supposed to apply for the job? Although in my mind it sounded perfect for me and business, I thought, was I supposed to apply? Even though I believe the connection with my colleague was God ordained, was I supposed to apply? I’m gonna take you guys back for a second to when I left my nursing career. I remember telling the Lord that, “The next thing I do, I want to work for You and not for the man.” Even through the financial struggles that followed, I would tell my Sistah friends and family that I didn’t believe the Lord pulled me out of the man’s working world to put me back in it. I’m working for Him now, and that looks different from what I’m used to. So, now I’m feeling convicted. It had been two years since I first made that statement. Jesus sustained me financially ever since I made the switch. Then, my mindset became focusing on all the messages He was sending me, where He was taking my business, and what was I going to do.
Listen, the next message I received was from a car’s license plate! That was what sealed the decision for me! The license plate said “mirage”. It caught my eye immediately! It definitely made me go hmmm. When I saw that license plate the very next day on the same car, I was like, “okay, Lord. you’re really telling me something here.” That’s that still small voice that we have to open our ears to hear. I knew what a mirage was, but I still wanted to look up the definition to be precise. The definition of mirage is: an optical illusion caused by atmospheric conditions, especially the appearance of a sheet of water in a desert or on a hot road caused by the refraction of light from the sky by heated air. Something that appears real or possible but is not in fact so. I was on my way to see my NICU baby both times. When I parked in the garage, I was like, woah! I knew immediately what it meant.
Bear with me y’all. Let’s look at this with spiritual eyes. There I was continuing to build my Christian business with the Lord after making a choice to walk this path. It came with its challenges (the atmospheric conditions), but the Lord had been sustaining me. I moved back home, and He kept my business alive. I was already in an opportunity with the baby girl, but I wanted to move ahead with business, and my finances weren’t where I wanted them (atmospheric conditions). I “saw” this RN opportunity that I believed was from the Lord, but it went against the path that I was on with Him (the optical illusion). First, I’m received messages to keep going and to not deviate from the plan. Then, I received a message that the new opportunity was not what it seemed to be. I started having thoughts like, how could I continue taking on doula clients if I’m working full time as an RN Navigator? How could I continue to grow the Lord’s business, if I literally don’t have the time to do so? How could I get back on someone’s payroll/rules when the Lord delivered me from that? Other thoughts were: Well, I’d still be working with pregnant moms, I’d still be in the field I have a passion for, I’d be expanding my network of birth workers, etcetera. I was in a whirlwind! Back and forth my thoughts went, fighting each other, Lol. I know I’m not the only one with battling thoughts, come on now.
Because one minute I was all for turning down the position, and then the next minute I was all for taking the position, finally, I was like, “This is confusion, Lord, and you ain’t the author!” Literally, just like that, the thoughts about it stopped, and I prayed and asked the Lord to make the decision because I didn’t want to make the decision emotionally. I also didn’t want to make the wrong decision. I again, gave it to Him. I had the interview on October 10th, and they told me they would get back to me the following week. That next week was when I was going through the mental battle of what I should do. The following week, I felt peace about it and left it alone. Now, two weeks after the interview I hadn’t heard from them. I started voice journaling to process my experience. The scripture that straightened me up was James 1: 2-8 KJV. This was an exercise to help me workout my patience in God’s timing. It also helped me trust that the path He directed me to, was His Will for me. Just because it wasn’t moving as quickly as I felt it should have been, didn’t give me the right to deviate from it. I asked for it! I asked to work for the Lord and not the man! So, I had to learn patience as He’s taught me His way. It looked much different than what I was accustomed to. Go figure! I don’t know what I thought this path would entail, but it wasn’t that, LOL.
I left it in His hands for the remainder of the waiting period. Just when I wasn’t really thinking about it, I got an email from the interviewer. It had been 21 days after the interview when I got the Lord’s answer. Wanna hear it, here it goes!
“Dear Michelle,
Thank you kindly for interviewing with our group a few weeks ago. It was really nice to get to know you better and learn about your experience. I’m writing because we ultimately decided to hire another candidate for the MGMC Nurse Navigator position. Please reach out if you have any questions. We wish you all the best in all you do!
Warmly,
Assistant Professor”
When I tell you that I was ecstatic!!!!! I had never been so happy to be turned down after an interview. If I didn’t spend those 3 weeks with the Lord listening to the messages He gave, I probably would have been crushed. I know I would have been. I was disappointed after the interview. Here comes the lesson I learned about rejection. Everything is about perspective. When you trust in the Lord with all your heart not leaning on your own understanding, and when you acknowledge Him in all your ways, He will INDEED direct your paths. SO, was I rejected after all? What’s the definition of reject: to dismiss as inadequate or inappropriate. Did they say in the email that I was inappropriate or inadequate? No, they just decided to go with another candidate. Sometimes, we take “no’s” or “not right now’s” personally. I chose to take it as God directing me to stay on the path He originally put me on. The one I asked to be on. I gave it to Him and asked Him to make the decision. He did and it worked out perfectly!
Remember the baby girl I was caring for in the NICU? Well, shortly after the Assistant Professor told me no, the baby’s healthcare team really started talking about discharge. Prior to her being discharged, her mom asked if I could be her home nurse. The idea came to my mind, and I prayed briefly about it. Why? Because my mind was on networking for business. Low and behold, this was where the Lord wanted me to be! She was discharged about a month later. I became her home RN. The beautiful thing was that her mom was accommodating to me continuing my work as a doula and working on my business. I was still able to take clients. I was the baby’s home nurse for 6 months, and I was able to support 5 births! They didn’t interfere with my care for her.
Sometimes, we think we know what’s best for us, and God is like “oh you poor thing, you don’t know!” I ain’t lying! What did He say in Jeremiah 29: 11-13 KJV “11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” When I think of the patient load I would have had if I took that position, I shudder. The home nursing experience was by far the easiest part of my nursing career! My patient and her family became my family.
I say all of this to say, If God is for me, who can be against me? Romans 8:31 KJV. All of it ended up working for my good! (Romans 8:28 KJV). I was able to stay with my baby girl, support families, promote business, rest, and plan. I know for a fact that if I was offered that position and took it, I would not have been able to do all I did for His business (Kingdom Business Daily LLC). I knew this because they shared what my duties and responsibilities were, and I still chose to believe I could do it all while working over 40 hours a week. I highly recommend not stressing when what you want doesn’t happen the way you want. Open your ears to hear or see the messages Jesus has for you as you’re navigating the path you’re currently on. Pray about everything. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s too small or too trivial to take to the Lord, give it to Him anyway! If an opportunity presents, take it to the Lord to know what you should do, and I cannot stress this enough, WAIT for the answer! You’ll know. When the Lord gives you an answer, there is no question mark at the end. It’s clear. It takes time to develop discernment believe me, I’m still learning, but He knows how to connect with you so that you are clear of what He’s moving you to do.
Think of yourself for a moment. What’s your experience with rejection? When you think back on it, how would things have been different if they played out differently? Do you think you’d be in a better situation or no? Remember, think spiritually and not just physically. The physical things often appear to be beneficial, but when you put your spiritual eyes on, they may not be in alignment. Let’s talk about it. Leave a comment and share with your sistah friends!
I pray this message is encouraging for you. Things aren’t always what they seem, so it’s best to take it to God who will tell you exactly what it is. I believe rejection is a concept the enemy uses to deter us from what God has for us. The only time people will be rejected is when the Lord says, depart from me, I never knew you. That’s real rejection! I don’t ever want to hear those words. As long as we are alive, we must be diligent in our relationship with the Lord. It takes time to develop like any other relationship. The Lord will prove to you who He is if you have trust, faith, works and patience. You are chosen for beautiful things, in Jesus name, Amen!
I love you all,
Michelle 💖💖💖
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