Chasing purpose. This started for me in 2016, so buckle in and hold on for the ride. Naturally, my very first blog is dedicated to our Lord, Jesus the Father, and our Savior Jesus Christ because without them, I would not be here telling my story. It’s funny how a lot of times as we are walking through life, we have no clue what things mean, why they align the way they do, what God is telling us, or how to move as we seek Him. That is, until you build a relationship with the Lord, and He blesses you with the understanding of discernment, His Will, revelation and divine intervention! Then, you have a stronger foothold on how God moves through your life. Until then, hindsight is a great teacher because you can take your time through the timeline, ask God questions for clarity, study the Word of God as it relates to your life/situation, see where you may have dropped the ball or closed your eyes, and so on. I love reflecting on my timelines in life! It’s kind of like being on the outside looking in (after you’ve bumped your head a few times or more lol). You can examine yourself against the Word of God too. Did I react in a way that displays righteousness or was I slow to hear, swift to speak and swift to wrath (Did you catch that?) Check out James 1: 19-20 (No, I won’t insert the scripture here. Crack open that book and seek out how we should behave as disciples of Christ, lol chop chop). Know that through my blogs, it will be as though we are having a conversation, nothing too formal, so I’ll laugh here and there and insert it. I hope you laugh too, maybe even cry if it touches you so. Most of all, I want God to get all the glory from what He leads me to share. With that being said, PRAISE THE MOST HIGH GOD JESUS FOR NEVER LEAVING NOR FORSAKING ME, FOR CHOOSING ME FOR A WORK, FOR PURGING ME, MARRING ME AND BUILDING ME BACK UP IN HIS IMAGE, FOR HAVING PATIENCE AND SHOWING LOVINGKINDESS, FOR HIS TENDER MERCIES, FOR CORRECTING ME, FOR KEEPING HIS PROMISES, FOR KEEPING HIS HOLY ANGELS AROUND ME, FOR BEING THE BEST FATHER, FOR REMOVING THINGS THAT DID NOT SERVE HIM OR ME, FOR TEACHING ME, FOR COUNSELING ME, FOR COMFORTING ME, FOR BEING THE GREATEST LEADER, FOR SHOWING ME THE UGLY PARTS OF ME, FOR PROVIDING, FOR REVELATION, FOR GIVING ME A NEW HEART, FOR IGNITING ME WITH HIS HOLY SPIRIT, FOR LOVING ME, FOR PUSHING ME TO CHASE PURPOSE. Whew! There is just not enough space here to spill out all of the blessings. I’ll insert the scripture I’m referring to this time, lol. Psalm 40:5 KJV “Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee; if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.”
Let’s get into 2016! I will share what the Lord moves me to share to testify and edify those who read. My hope is that you are encouraged, warned, edified, and moved to seek the Lord for yourself, in Jesus’ name, Amen! So, you all know the story of Abraham being called out of his father’s house to inhabit a land unknown, right? Well, I definitely don’t call myself Abraham, but that is exactly what the Lord did in my life. In 2012, I had this urge to go to Los Angeles, California for vacation. I had never been on an airplane before, I had never been on vacation out of the state as an adult prior to this trip, so needless to say, I was overly excited! I went with a good friend of mine. I packed all my good clothes, got my hair done, nails done, and everything else I could think of. I definitely was all into the vanity back then! We all start somewhere, right?! No one is perfect from birth! I’ll fast forward to when I was on the plane. Our flight was at night. I picked the window seat, and when we were about to descend, I saw the beauty of L.A. with all the lights, and it struck me. I actually whispered; I’m going to live here. Prior to that, I hadn’t thought about leaving Chicago where I’m from. In that moment, the Lord ignited something in me to work on getting back there. This was before I had even experienced the city! Cray. What if I didn’t like it? I know this feeling was from God because it came with excitement, but also a peace like I already knew this was my new home (spoiler alert! Lol). This comes as a surprise because I was always the shy, quiet girl who didn’t stray too far away from the nest. I even went to college in Chicago, lol. I just never had that urge to leave home, but that moment changed my perspective. Have you ever had a moment like that before? Something you had never thought about before suddenly becoming a part of your life plans, but you knew it wasn’t from you? I wasn’t spiritually mature at the time, so I actually don’t remember taking that thought and feeling to the Lord for confirmation, I just rolled with it. Young and carefree, I suppose. At the time, I hadn’t even been a Registered Nurse for a year yet, but one thing I did say is that I wanted to work in my specialty for at least 5 years before I moved. I wanted to feel confident that I could work anywhere due to my experience. I had a great time in LA which furthered my hunger to return. I worked my 5 years in Labor and Delivery and was ready to move on. Little did I know that this was just the beginning of my journey to finding my purpose. I had no idea what lied ahead.
As I got through my years in California, I learned so much about myself, the people in my life, and more importantly my relationship with Jesus. The good, the bad and the ugly of it all. After just two years of living in California, I thought everything was great! However in 2018, God dropped the scales from my eyes to show me that I was not living the way He intended! It was a sucker punch in my stomach. It’s funny how you think you are doing okay or even sometimes well in your journey with God, but He exposes us to ourselves and shows us that some cleaning has to take place! For me, I had to be purged from sex before marriage, walking in fears, disobedience, impatience, unforgiveness, pride, lack of faith, lack of self-control, and the list goes on. I was walking in the wrong direction, and I’m grateful He caused me to be aware so I could get to work. Little did I know, it would take 5 years before I even started walking in my purpose! That is a lot of work right!? And guess what? I’m still working. As people always say, “He’s not finished with me yet!” It’s not easy being told you have work to do, allow that work to be done, put in work yourself, unlearning old ways and learning better ways. It takes time for us to develop unacceptable behaviors and ways of thinking. So, naturally, it takes time to unlearn it and rebuild. I was and am determined to keep going! As I write this, I’m realizing that I was chasing purpose back then, I just didn’t know it.
Now, let’s get into where I am today. As I kept shedding layers and layers and layers of myself, it gave space for desires that never even came to mind before. This form of obedience led me to ministry, my God given gifts, birth work as a Doula, and entrepreneurship. As I made the decision to walk away from my nursing career at the bedside, the Lord blessed me with a mindset to want to work for Him and not for the world. What I mean by this is that instead of doing my day-to-day routine of work, home, sleep, I began to desire to work for Jesus, not for my own gain. This is when I woke up to desiring purpose for my life to please Him first, not myself! I have to say that ever since I chose this path, I have been fulfilled in ways I never knew I needed. As a Doula, I have been able to connect with families deeply. I have prayed with and for them, heard numerous life stories, testimonies, and challenges. I am blessed to keep up with the children I have helped support into the world as they grow and hit milestones. I am still connected to most families I have served. I am still learning, but I am thoroughly convinced that this is where I am called to be.
That was only a brief synopsis of how I began chasing purpose. If I type out play by play, you’d be reading for a long time, lol. My hope is that this has caused you to dig deep to find your fulfillment if you haven’t already! As I get more and more into writing, I will be sure to share what God puts on my heart. Have you thought of what your purpose is? Have you prayed on it? Are you interested to know? Do you feel fulfilled in the work that you’re currently in? Do you feel called to do a specific service? I strongly encourage you to dig in if you haven’t already and seek out your purpose! It’s not easy, and it’s not quick, but it is truly fulfilling! Every client I connect with is reassurance that I have been called to this great work! I hope to share with you soon!
Let the Light of God shine forth! I love you all!
Michelle
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